Dear Bangalore

 dear bangalore

you know how i feel right?

i lost a lover and a friend to you

every time i step out in the sun

i come back home drenched

in rainwater and in thoughts

you know how it feels right?

when you gave me all the rainbows

and a moment in every corner of your skin

I settled nicely into your lap

but then you let me loose slowly

you know how i feel right?

When you told me

"take an umbrella, it will rain tonight"

you brought me so much joy

in the dosas and the filter coffees

and in the shots at bob's

but also tears

when i argued with my lover 

in the backdrop of beautiful lakes

you heard all of it

so you know how i felt right?

here i am again, back in your lap

leaving behind all my belongings,

into the same abode

and i have nowhere to go

nowhere that doesn't feel like

"it reminds me of them"

Tell me a place

where my past doesn't cling to me.

you know how it feels, right?

tell me why do all the mays, junes, novembers and decembers

feel the same in your city

why when you see a droplet in my eyes

you try to soothe me with the wind

telling me "you will build new memories"

will you wash down all my sorrows

and this loss that chokes me sharp

everytime someone says "let's catch up in Kora"

we used to do that, remember?

build memories for my chest.

You know how i feel, right?

believe me, i want to step out

but i can't get myself to

you are not a city, bangalore

you are a remnant 

of my painful chest of memories

and i hate you.

so i hope you know how i feel.